I seriously need a personal assistant. Not for my
work - but for everyday boring daytime shit.

I'm just too lazy lately to want to even deal with
stuff like getting myself up in the morning, turning
the shower on and buttering my toast.

It's not too much to ask is it? I mean I used to have a cleaner - seriously I'm a lazy bastard. Unfortunately so was the fucking
cleaner - I caught her sitting on my loo texting her mates when
she should have been elbow deep in marigolds giving my taps a good sparkling.

But I know there's decent hard working people out there - perhaps you're one of them and would like to come work for me?

Ultimately Im looking for someone to deal with all the mundane day to day crap (as exampled above). You dont have to be an immigrant, although failure to speak my language would be desirable. Im so lazy I'd prefer to just point at what needs doing rather than actually have to tell you. And it would be so nice not to hear you whining about long hours and sexual harrasment.

So if you'd like to earn a few extra pennies - or know of a strapping brutish russian that wouldn't mind being paid in potatoes, then let me know.

I'll post up all the eager applicants and my loyal readers/fans can vote for my apprentice in an interactive type thingy, because Im far too lazy for such nonsense.