I'm now single. I'm a single mingle.
Single single laa laa laa. Hurray hurray.
Let us not forget that 90% of every relationship is a rather shitty and boring round of tiffs, compromises and getting a bit fed up. You poor bastards, why do you put up with it? It is so crap! How do people have rebound relationships? That really is the last thing I want to do at the moment - maybe because I was the dumper, not the dumpee?

QOTD: "I hate the fact that eggs are really expensive. Which I feel guilty about, considering the amount of work that hens put into them."
(Seriously, I do have friends that say stuff like that. Amazing)

PS: Your girlfriend is really rather boring, and generally a bit crap. DUMP HER. YOU WILL BE SO MUCH HAPPIER. (And you know it)